♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ 10cc — The Things We Do For Love
(Here is the music track that you can listen to at the beginning of the article. There is another one at the end.)
This article is the English version of the article “canlı çekirdek”
Hey everyone! I am here to talk about a small drop of water, a drop of the ocean to make us feel cooler. If you read a few of my writings, you will see that it is obvious that I like talking and telling things. I want to read and listen more and more to make my words able to satisfy people at a higher level. That’s why I enjoy reading about psychology and neuroscience. I’d rather come across than call all the time. To come across, I try to choose my place the best.
For international sources about those things, we need English. I try my best on this point, but of course, it is not as good as my Turkish, which is my mother tongue. And, there is a huge source in Turkish, that we can have great small miracles hidden in his sentences. Also, not only in terms of words.
I don’t admire him only for his words, but also for his energy level and mature standing for life, and he takes us to explore more, even about ourselves. In any case, a fantastic person to read. I have a notebook in which I will jot down his words as I listen. After I heard that he had lost his life, I couldn’t touch my book to read it. In recent days, I have been in a “new beginnings time period” in my life and I am trying. I tried, and still am trying, so many things. I will come to a point which is related to me and the book, but I want to start with a few things about my experiences before.
I had a chance to live in a different country before the pandemic life circumstances. In those days, I added an avocado to my supermarket list. I didn’t get its plain taste and hadn’t used it completely in any recipe before. I was still thinking that you needed to be an influencer or from upper-class people for that. (You know, avocado toast for breakfast) Now we’re friends with even papayas in any supermarket, any time… :)
I saw so many videos about an avocado seed and how to plant it after staying in water for some time, etc. I didn’t love the taste when I got it and didn’t let the seed go to waste. Maybe I bought it for its seed. Who knows? :)
Okay, no word on the nutrition facts and miracles of it, but I did not enjoy it and do not believe it can be that delicious without being combined with another main base food. Maybe you can say you are completely in another place and you are going to come back home. What, are you going to have an avocado tree there? Is that really necessary?
I did not think if it was necessary.
I was saying good morning to my lovely avocado seed, which was sleeping in some water. It was like sharing loneliness at first — you can guess it, like, no one else from your place, no one else from your culture, no one else speaking your language… We grew up together.
Then it just put itself in my hands. The water and me, I say.
At first, it seemed hard and completely vulnerable at first, but then, it separated itself from the actual core after staying in the water, like it needed to relax so much. I have never felt that excited about any other green in my whole life when I saw it. There is no avocado tree in the back of my mind at this point. No expectation. We just live together. It’s just something with me. An alive seed. There is no need for new avocados, just as there is no need for patience. No long-term ideas, no anxiety. Short-term me once more.
A few months passed, and we came to Istanbul with its 50 cm tall fresh green branch. Yes, we do. I have no idea how I put it into my luggage to protect it and how it didn’t break after hours and hours in airports, aircraft, roads… But I was happy with the end. Maybe it sounds weird, but happiness is a choice.
In his book Var Mısın, he talks about the potential of a small seed, which we don’t even see normally. (Doğan Cüceloğlu - Var Mısın?: Güçlü Bir Yaşam İçin Öneriler)
We just see the fruit.
Life is not only about the fruit side.
To be honest, I did not even need to see it as a potential tree for our togetherness. Just sharing things is awesome in terms of experience level sometimes. No need to be tired, no need to be lazy. You grow up together and then, voila! You are a huge team!
It feels more peaceful when we get that feeling that growing or togetherness is not only about existing in a physical way. It is so delicious to get the end of the fruit from the peace in “we”, rather than the anger and discomfort of “I”.
“Who gives the opportunity to realize and develop the potential of a seed?”
It is not an easy task to be aware, evaluate what you realize, make a decision and take action.
Being aware of things and taking steps after this level is extremely hard.
But if we stop, not if we turn back, we rot. We are too precious to rot.
It doesn’t mean that we have to be in an enormous rush, like trying to catch a fast rhythm on a metronome. Doing your best, not escaping from the fear, letting the anger be there just like a spread knot… awareness. It will not be the solution if you tie the knot away. Awareness of its existence is much more healthy and respectful for you. I always let you know that hugs have a deep point in my soul, and this topic makes me feel like letting myself try to hug my own soul.
Are you comfortable with this behaviour you’ve had?
Are you sure?
Can/could you do better?
Everything is built on “doing the best”, not “being the best”, not winning.
Unfortunately, being right about something tends to feed your ego, which is detrimental to your peace.
Sometimes we discover the point when we did not insist on winning, that joy is way better than fighting.
As I previously stated, I am currently in a new beginnings period in my life and have no idea about so many things. But it is better to remember the morning of the day when feelings are not great. I was able to wake up today too, then I must be a person to make others feel better after my touch. I do not mean physical touch. It is soooo much more valuable to make someone smile when we smile. It will not deduct any amount of money from your bank account if you give a flower to a kid from a napkin during a flight or give flowers to a person with no special occasion.
It does not have to be that way just because it came that way until today.
Nothing has to be wasted. Nothing.
Neither is water, food, nor us.
We are not meant to be wasted.
We can try whatever our hands let us do. We can change whatever our smiles let us change.
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Sidoine — On Ne Vit Qu’Une Fois